I am famous

Tonight at dinner my son looked at my husband and said, "Dad, did you know I am famous?" My husband said, "really? What are you famous for?" Then my son replied, "I can smell and taste in my brain!"..............gifts you didn't even know your children had! :)

Open real wide

As many of you know, my son is obsessed with snakes. He LOVES them! He is determined to be a herpetologist when he grows up. He wants to milk snakes for their venom.........every mother's dream. So, lately he has decided to start eating like a snake. This causes problems. He tries to put his food in his mouth without cutting it and then tries to swallow without chewing, because, "snakes don't chew mom, they swallow things whole." Well, good for them - not so good for a 6 year-old boy. I can't even tell you how many times I have looked over at the dinner table and seen my son with a whole piece of chicken on his fork trying to move his cheeks back and forth to fit the whole piece in his mouth. Choking inevitably follows. I am not sure why being human is such a bad thing, or why chewing is not the option, but it makes dinner more fun at our house.

Sore throat = special needs

On the way home my son told me he had a sore throat. I told him I was sorry his throat was hurting him, then my son said, "it really hurts mom..........I think I have special needs."

Tarantula's taste like shrimp

Yesterday my son asked me if I could please cook a tarantula for dinner. I told him I thought that would be gross and he said, "No it wouldn't! They taste like shrimp!" I don't want to know how he knows that.

My bedroom on fire

So, there I was - making dinner with my husband. Our three-year-old son was playing in his room. It was a crisp fall day, ahhhhhh peaceful. Then our son came downstairs very slowly. He was taking each step as if it might break if he stepped too hard. He quietly walked into the kitchen and calmly said, "Mom, your bedroom is on fire." I turned and looked at him to try and see if I could tell if he was serious. Our son is obsessed with Volcanoes and numerous times our home is being consumed by lava, or a pyroclastic cloud of some sort. My son then again stated, "Mom, your bedroom is on fire. I lit your bedroom on fire." My husband started walking slowly upstairs to see what kind of game our son was playing when he turned back to me and yelled, "I smell smoke!" We both ran upstairs, opened our bedroom door and saw a match sitting on our dresser that was on fire. Luckily the fire was just a flame and we were able to put it out. Our son walked into the room and I asked him what he was doing! He said matter-of-factly, "I was going camping." The thing that killed me about this encounter was that my son had lit a match, put it on my dresser, walked calmly out of the room, shut the door behind him and then walked slowly down the stairs and calmly told me my bedroom was on fire.

Well........this is my life. Our son is now six. He was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome a couple years ago. Asperger's (besides having such a fantastic name that is never going to get anyone made fun of) is an autism spectrum disorder. It is characterized by obsessing about one topic, social awkwardness, sensitivity to light, sound and touch and an inability to relate to the world around them in a "normal" way. After the diagnosis, we went through the obvious sadness and heartache. Afterwards, we realized that we have a unique life - our son sees things in a different way. We should enjoy and embrace his view of life. Every day he says things that make me laugh so hard I think I should buy stock in depends. So, I have decided to share those stories with you so that once I buy my stock in depends then I will be a rich women with funny stories. I hope you enjoy them......I do!